Pregnancy options

Pregnancy tests

Options: what to do

Going ahead with the pregnancy

Adoption or fostering

Parenthood - single or together?

Abortion (termination of pregnancy)

Telling your parents about a pregnancy

Resources

For people who have planned and wanted a child, the news of pregnancy is wonderful. For some young people however, the news can come as a shock. A young woman might think, "why me?" She may fear the reactions of her parents. She may feel very much alone, and feel fear, shame, anger, sadness and despair. She may deny, even to herself, that she is really pregnant, and not do anything about it. Ignoring the possibility of pregnancy can reduce choices and mean that she won't get the medical care she needs.

A young man might fear the reactions of his parents, feel helpless or may feel pushed aside.

It's a time when a young woman really needs a trusted adult or close friend to turn to - she shouldn't have to make decisions alone.

Important Note:
Emergency contraception

If you have had unprotected sex and are wanting to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, contact your doctor or pharmacist (chemist) quickly. In some countries, including Australia, emergency contraceptive pills (ECP) are available, that work to stop a pregnancy. These pills need to be taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex - they are most effective if taken within 24 hours since unprotected sex, but may be effective up to 5 days after unprotected sex.

Remember to use contraception when having sex, unless you want to get pregnant.

Pregnancy tests

The first sign of pregnancy is usually a missed period or a very short, light period. Other signs are tenderness or tingling in the breasts or feeling sick. You could find you need to pass urine more often than usual.

You can have a pregnancy test done as soon as you miss your period. Some tests can detect pregnancy on the first day of the missed period, others from seven to ten days after intercourse. In many countries, including Australia, pregnancy testing kits are available from chemists (pharmacies). You can also have a blood or urine test done by your doctor.

Options: what to do

If the pregnancy is a shock for you, making choices about what to do won't be easy, but getting accurate information is the best way to help you make the right choice for you. Your beliefs and values about pregnancy will influence your decision. Other people could try to press their values and beliefs on you and pressure you into a choice that isn't right for you. Don't try to please others - only you know what is right for you.

Going ahead with the pregnancy

• If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, it is important to get good antenatal care (health care during the pregnancy). The sooner you're getting good care, the better for you and the baby. A doctor or health worker can give you lots of advice about your health and the baby's health.
• There are many special support programs for young women who are pregnant or who are new mums. These programs can often be of benefit to young fathers as well. Look at the list of resources at the end of this topic. 

Adoption or fostering

Some young people decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and have their baby adopted or fostered. In most countries there are agencies or services who can help you arrange this. Adoption is a permanent arrangement and it is important to have some counselling before you make this choice.

Parenthood - single or together?

If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and become a parent, there are many things to consider.  Will you parent together with your partner or alone?

• Here are some possible options:
• care for your baby by yourself
• get married and share parenting
• live together and share parenting
• share parenting while living separately
• live with your parents or close family members who might be prepared or even pleased to help you look after your baby.

It can be really helpful to discuss your options with a counsellor to work out what might be best for you and your baby.
Also have a look at the topic 'Single parenting'.

Abortion (termination of pregnancy)

About half of all women of reproductive age in Australia will have an unwanted pregnancy, and about half of these women will choose to have an abortion (not only young women choose to have an abortion). While many women are clear that an abortion is the best choice for them, for others it can be a complex and difficult decision.

A decision to have a pregnancy termination (an abortion) needs to be made early in the pregnancy, preferably before 12 weeks of pregnancy. It's recommended that you get counselling before going down this track and explore the options and exactly what a termination means for you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Telling your parents about a pregnancy

It can be pretty scary figuring out how to tell your parents about a pregnancy. The way you tell them will depend a lot on the relationship you already have with them.

• Sometimes your imagination about how they will react is worse than the reality.  Often parents are very supportive.
• Some people find it easier to tell one parent first, then the other.
• Others may want to tell a trusted family friend or relative first and ask that person for support in telling their parents.
• Others might want to tell their parents with the family doctor or another health worker present. This would mean setting up an appointment with the worker and getting parents to come along.

Give your parents time to get used to the idea and for them to think about it. It was probably a shock for you at first, but you've had some time to get used to the idea and have probably done some pretty heavy thinking. Their reactions may differ over time as they get used to the idea.

"I was sixteen, I was so nervous! The ol' man wasn't home, thank god! I couldn't have told him. I walked in the kitchen and came right out with it, "Mum, I'm pregnant." She laughed, she thought I was joking, then she must have seen the look on my face because she stopped laughing and said, "You're not joking are you?" Thinking back I s'pose she was shocked. Anyway, Mum later told Dad". - Sian

Resources

Whatever you do decide to do, there are people who can help. Turn to someone you trust - a friend or a relative - or contact one of the services below.

• Your family doctor
• Your local hospital
• Community Health Centres - check for your local service in your telephone book - they can help with pregnancy testing, advice and relationship counselling.
• Family Planning Clinics